roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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no

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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