What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

thumb_up thumb_down +30

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An Asian teenager bought his first gun, and proceeded to go hunting with his father in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops