Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Smart Blondes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops