What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and u drink it Koolaid

thumb_up thumb_down +22

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

liam buchan is gay !

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black guy WALKS out of prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops