Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Do you believe this will change?

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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knock knock... whose there? I don't know why don't you open it and find out dumb ass... Gosh people and their common sense these days!!

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What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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What looks like half an apple? The other half.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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