The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

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your father died

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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