Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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