A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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fkda

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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Justin Bieber having an erection.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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your mom

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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You should never talk to strangers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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