Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Penis penis poop butt

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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