How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black guy WALKS out of prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Society has given up on chairs that spin.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

liam buchan is gay !

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +16

women outside of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops