Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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