What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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fkda

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Good boy

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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e4ryka mcgyuire rode stephanie sinnott

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How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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i'm not gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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