What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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