What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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My butt!!!!

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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I'm banging your sister.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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