Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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Vagina ass.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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