What do you call a black priest? Religious.

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

I am on a escalator.

So a black man hails a taxi...

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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