Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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a

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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