What is cold? Winter

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats brown and smells like shit shit

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What sucks? A: Straws

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops