What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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No. Yes.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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don't look behind you

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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