What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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your father died

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Hi

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Anagram.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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