Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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i love huge wieners.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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your father died

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Hi

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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