Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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#scabbers

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

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a

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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