Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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A black guy WALKS out of prison.

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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