How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So. The gays. ...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops