What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Derpy Hooves is retarded.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Loading....please wait.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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7

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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