John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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