Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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