Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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Whats worst than a worm in you apple? 2 worms in your apple. Whats worst than two worms in your apple? An apple in your Worm. Whats worst than that? I don't know plenty of international tragedies such as plane crashes, and please don't say the holocaust. I was going to say 2 apples in your worm.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Comedy.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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