how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A woman walks into a bar and orders a pint of ale. "Are you a Lesbian?", joked the barman. "Yes", replied the woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

since when?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you confuse a person from France? By screaming in english at the sky while pionting at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -15

BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops