Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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Passing by

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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69

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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