Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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