What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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