What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Smart Blondes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops