One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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