What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Where is my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Women's football

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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