A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Ha

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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