Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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If you are my friend like it!

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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marshal sterio had sex

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I'm banging your sister.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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