A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Yo daddy!

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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