I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

thumb_up thumb_down +21

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Bloody kids ...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the girl die? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

verry nice how mUCH?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops