- Anti Joke

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

A baby seal walks into a club...

Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

asian, do math

Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

I have a crush on my dad.

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

PUDDING

What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

A baby seal walks into a club...

Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

Justin Beiber

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

penis

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??