How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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69

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Smart Blondes

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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12

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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twilight

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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women have rights

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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