What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

thumb_up thumb_down

How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

#scabbers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops