What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I have no ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +26

- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and u drink it Koolaid

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +22

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops