whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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knock knock who's there?

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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