Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Doorbell salesman.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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The Irish man was sober.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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marshal sterio had sex

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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