What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Women's Rights.

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Mitt Romney.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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