Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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A jew go out of a bar

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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