Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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Women's rights...

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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