Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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Sorry boss

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Where is my tractor?

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Halo < COD

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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The Irish man was sober.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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