whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Ha

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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