When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Ha

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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How did the boy fly? he had wings.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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